Goodbye I'm Sorry
by Shika Misoya
Summary: Ivan feels guilty about how he's hurt everyone. My first songfic ever!


A/N: So after drawing a pic (which can be found here: ) I got an idea for a song fic. It's my first song fic, so advice is helpful. Warning... for all the Russia fans out there, Russia is very angsty and sad... so if you don't want to see a depressed Ivan.... READ A DIFFERENT FANFIC! Also, this is probably no that good... I fail at songfics DX

This song fic is based on the song Goodbye I'm Sorry by And Then I Turned Seven

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Goodbye I'm Sorry

_Time has run out, for me.  
Everything's distant and I don't know what to believe.  
It's so hard, lost in the world confusion.  
And I need to leave, for a while.  
Life is so meaningless, there is nothing worth a smile.  
So goodbye, I'll miss you._

Looking at the fake sunflowers on his desk, Russia frowned. Nothing was worth it anymore. The only thing he longed for was warmth, and it was always so far away. It was too late to change how everyone thought of him. They all feared or hated him.

He pulled out a pen and paper and began to write. If he was going to leave he would have to let Lithuania know. "Goodbye little Toris... I'll miss you."

_And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.  
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.  
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.  
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.  
I'm not worth any tears._

Tears bagan to fall down the Russian's face. It wouldn't matter if he wrote a note to Toris saying he wouldn't be coming back. No one wanted him to stay, especially not Toris. No one would be upset. Life would go on. A suicide not would be pointless. Only two words would matter now. "I'm sorry."

_It's been the years, of abuse.  
Neglected to treat the disorder,  
That controls my youth, for so long.  
I'm in a fleshy tomb, buried up above the ground.  
It's no use, why should I hold on?  
It's been five years, don't need one more.  
So goodbye, life's abuse._

For one of the first times ever, Ivan realized something. All these years he had abused everyone. It was all he'd ever known. More than anything, it had been exteme kindness. Kindness that ended up as beatings and pain for everyone else. None of them deserved it anymore. Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia didn't need it anymore.

It didn't matter for Ivan anymore. The only thing he'd ever held onto was warmth and he couldn't even have that.

_And I'm sorry, but this is my fate.  
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.  
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.  
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.  
I'm not worth any tears.  
_

Russia looked down at his scarf. Yet again it was covered in others' blood. No one's blood but his own, would ever stain it again. No one would be upset.

_And I'm sorry, but this my fate.  
Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay.  
And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long.  
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.  
So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me.  
I'm not worth any tears._

After folding up the note, Ivan pulled out his own water pipe. The same one that hurt so many. He would beat himself with it. Pulling it back, he readied himself for impact. "No Ivan! Stop." A voice said softly.

Ivan turned around and was face to face with Toris. "It's okay, da? No one will cry."

Lithuania shook his head and looked up at the bigger man. "You're wrong Ivan. I would."

And at that moment Russia let the tears spill over and clung to the man he had hurt so many times. Toris held him tightly, allowing the other to just cry. "I'm sorry Toris..." Ivan whispered.

"I know."

"You could never know. I'm a horrible person, da?"

Toris couldn't help but feel pity on the man. As he watched the man break down crying he let his lips press softly to Ivan's forhead. "You're not horrible. If you were horrible, I wouldn't love you."


End file.
